The former England midfielder is everywhere at this World Cup, having reached a popularity in the US other Britons have rarely achieved

Watch US television for any length of time and the endless spume of adverts will eventually separate into three distinct types.

The first are adverts for units of generic food-substance, each one essentially the same hand-sized grenade of glossy and salted microminced matter; but each also with its own industrialised repertoire of colours and noise and packaging required to dress it as a distinct genre of actual human food. Try the delicious new Flame Sauced Philly Cheese Taco Wing Waffle Dog Deep Dish MegaDeath Burger Grenade-Shaped Eat Thing. You won’t be disappointed. Or you will be. Whatever.

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